From where I got the strength to accept my failures & fight them out...
From being an army aspirant to being a Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) patient with deformities was difficult and Coping with failures of this kind was all the more difficult but I needed to fight it off. At the beginning I was furious, almost used to break down on everything, unable to cop up with the fact that my world came crashing down with my dreams shattered. My frustration of being a failed person which I never was from my childhood, became my life. I always loved cracking jokes, I had good sense of humor, I was always enthusiastic and loved talking and convincing people when they felt low, but anxiety took over me.
I was unable to accept the reality of being a crippled person with deformities. I was fond of makeup, long hair, loved styling myself, now I was bedridden.
You need to have a strong mind to deal with a situation like mine
but I being an emotional person it was difficult but I new,
I had to fight it. I needed
inspiration to boost up my spirit.
My family supported me in every way but the inner self battle was mine.
I started reading Gita, I found some solace.
But I needed inspiring stories of men and women which can transform me and change the way I looked at my failures and my struggle with RA, deformities, an unfulfilled army dream while my friends were enjoying and progressing in life.
My life came to a standstill.
How did I start coping with it?
The first step was to start accepting the harsh reality- I am a rheumatoid arthritis (RA) patient, I cannot get married, I cannot join army, I have deformities, my life will not be normal, I cannot go for trekking, climbing mountains and all these unfulfilled wishes of mine will live with me life long, none of them will ever come true.
Accepting the life as it is and believing life is not finished, was the first step towards finding happiness in small little things. I decided, I have to make my mind strong enough to realise it but it was a hard task. Accepting a failed reality is the hardest thing to believe at a young age.
There are people who don't have a leg, arm, sometimes both arms amputated, people who can't hear, see, talk, soldiers who lost arms, legs in Kargil war or in operations all of them give strength and motivation to look at your failure with positivity. When you feel God has given you nothing, always look at those people who are in worst condition than you. It invokes your dying spirits with a realization that someone is having a much more harder life than you have.
How I calmed my mind?
Relaxed mind is a necessity to fight any failure or struggle and accepting the fact- you can't fulfill your dream what you wanted to be. A calm mind accumulates your energy and divert it towards the positivity which is much required
to cop up with the faliures.
Pranayam
Pranayam is the best way to start a journey towards a calm and peaceful relaxed mind. I started practicing three pranayam:
• bhastrika
• kapalbhati
• anulom - vilom
Pranayam relaxes your mind. It gives you positive energy. I started feeling calm and relaxed.
When you close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing, you feel relaxed and rejuvenated. I got this feeling of relaxation and rejuvenation after months of practicing pranayam properly. Pranayam gives results only when you perform it with proper breathing technique. You need to learn from a yoga practitioner.
But I needed more inspiration, real stories which would raise
my spirits and since I always wanted to join army but could not. So, what better than a soldier's story for inspiration.
I read books:
• Kargil from surprise to victory- by Gen. V.P. Malik.
It has many inspirational stories of Kargil war heroes like Yogendra yadav, a 19 year old soldier at Tiger hill, hit by many bullets but still his fighting spirit did not die, he survived to be honored with Param Vir Chakra at such a young age. Soldiers in their early twenties at thousands feet of hieght under extreme cold won one of the toughest battle ever.
It inspired me to realise- a strong will power combined with a never give up attitude along with strong determination is the key to fight back all odds. If we have it in us- nothing can deter us.
At present I'm reading the book 'India's most fearless'.
• One more story of a Kargil hero that I recently saw on a youtube channel which inspired me was that of Capt. Naveen nagappa who was at .4875 during Kargil war. He narrated how his leg almost tore apart & he underwent multiple leg surgeries but today he walks without the crutches. His story was extremely inspirational one, It changed my perception that I am the only one who is battling a disease which almost crippled me. There are people who were in worst state than mine but came out of it.
Stories of soldiers are always filled with courage and valour, hope and determination. These stories once again aquainted me with my lost courage, apprised me of 'never give up attitude' and generated a self-realization of being happy with whatever I have because some people don't even have that much.
They motivated me to gather all my strength to fight out every failure & negativity like a soldier.
Reading a real story of a real soldier is far more better than reading a fictitious fake story with no reality and substance. You don't get energize after reading such books atleast I found out real stories inspire me to move ahead in life.
A soldier's story will inspire you like no one else
their never say die attitude will teach you..
Nothing can deter you, keep the spirits high,
fight against all odds.
There's a soildier in each one of us,
you just need to look your inner self you'll find one,
you'll get courage to fight it out
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