How to start accepting things as they are to move ahead in life- how non acceptance impact us?

How non acceptance of facts impact us negatively?

 In this article, I will tell you how to start accepting things as they are to move ahead in life for better and work on them and how non acceptance of facts affect us negatively, I'll share my own experience on this.

"Your body is a weapon and consider it very strong. Consider your mind to be very strong as only with strong mind and body, you will be able to cross the ocean of life. Have strong faith  in yourself, your body and mind".

                 - SWAMI VIVEKANANDA 

What is acceptance?

Before I come to 'how to start accepting things as they are', one should know what acceptance is- Acceptance, according to me is believing what is true at present (whether good or bad), that which is not fake or unreal but real whether bitter or sweet, it may not be an ideal situation as you would have thought. 

How does non acceptance of things impact our mind & body negatively?

The human life is like a a giant wheel swing, goes up and comes down so is our life, we see ups and downs. It may go the way we wanted it to be for our career, job, education, relationships, health or may go the other way what we never wanted. Now the later one is the cause of concern as this can break you & impact you negatively, fill your mind with anxiety, if you are not strong enough to accept the truth. Non acceptance is human behaviour but it could be quiet painful and traumatic if  things are not the way you wanted them to be & when you don't come to terms with the way things are in your life - it may lead you to anxiety or depression or sadness or make you very stubborn, it can engulf your positive thinking as your mind is continously thinking, thinking, thinking only one thought day and night - how things cannot be the way you wanted? You may keep on asking this question to yourself because you are not ready to accept.

This give rise to stubborn attitude which is not ready to accept a reality. 

How it affected me?

I have severe rheumatoid arthritis which has affected my all joints very severely including my facial bones. Everything I do, I do with great difficulty from walking to lifting things from my table to combing hair, changing clothes writing, even holding a book for reading. 

In the beginning I could not accept the fact that this disease has severely affected me, why I was chosen for this, it affected my normal life, I could not believe that it will stay with me throughout my life and would be too painful but I needed to accept this. Non acceptance can lead you into asking questions again and again why me?..how can this happen to me? You can keep moving in a circle round and round with these questions or accept the reality. I felt sad about it, thinking my life is destroyed, result was - my disease aggravated, I had to face severe rheumatoid arthritis attack which worsened my situation but what was the solution? Any kind of situation whether good or bad and specially the bad one for example not able to clear entrance exam, or not getting a good job after trying hard or broken relationship or facing things that are not the way you wanted - the first step is to accept, then find solution. 

How I started accepting things the way they were?

Acceptance is not an art, all you need is a strong mind to accept the real facts and work on changing them- never loose hope, when you accept things as they are, it makes you think positively towards finding a solution or happiness to move ahead in life for better. I studied myself and realised my non acceptance of an incurable disease is making my situation worse, making me sad, full of anxiety the result- an aggravated and worsening condition of my disease.

How to accept all the negative and move forward positively?

How to begin?

Be positive 

The first step is to become positive, this helps you to realise & accept that there is a problem. Every problem has a solution. If my disease cannot be cured than atleast, it can be controlled and here was the answer to accept it and work towards controlling it.  This positivity is required. Learn to deal with it. A positive mind gives you courage to battle anything. The way our mind reacts, our body reacts the same way. Finally I learnt to remain positive and this helped me to overcome anxiety, negativity, the brain thought positively and so the body reacted positively, I was able to think better. This is how I started to accept the reality and was ready to face it and work towards controlling it. For this change I started meditating and meditation helped me to be positive. Our hormones are secreted by our thought process or how we react - if we are happy, our body generate good hormones, if we are sad, hormones are secreted in that way- the experts say so.

Control your mind

Secondly, control your mind, a wandering uncontrolled mind has less capability to concentrate when concentration is most required, a self controlled mind keeps you away from negative thoughts and preserves all the energy from wandering in unwanted thoughts. 

It helps you to generate positive and balanced thoughts. When you have only positive thoughts flowing in your brain then, you learn to accept harsh reality or unwanted situations in your life or even failures. 

This universe is expanding and alive only due to positive energy and the whole universe is inside us. A free positive mind captures all that is positive energy from your surroundings or nature to your mind and body to affect you positively. When you learn to remain positive then you start accepting your not so good situations or relationships or failures or any disease that is affecting your life.

 How positive mind impacts?

A positive mind brings in behavioral changes in your thought process which helps you to search for solutions. When you watch, read talk positive, you become positive, now you are ready to accept the unacceptable. Our thinking make us what we are and it doesn't happen from heart - NO, life is not a romantic film, I'm not talking about love relationships, so think from the brain instead. 

A positively minded person is able to grasp everything that is positive in this universe & that positive makes you accept whatever bad is in happening your life, it motivates you to work hard on it, think on it and finally, find solutions to move ahead.  Untill or unless you won't accept situations as they are- specially bad ones or failure of any sort, you won't work towards finding a solution for it.

Therefore, it is necessary to keep the mind open to positivity to let positivity flow in your brain and body.

The other question is how to be positive & control mind?

Answer- Meditation 

Meditation helped me to be positive and to control my wandering unhappy mind. When you meditate all the positive energy flows inside your body from brain to heart. It should be learnt properly from a yoga teacher. Only a practicing yoga teacher can teach you proper meditating technique. Meditation relaxes  & calms your mind, you come in contact with your real self, it enhances positive energy in you. When you meditate you do nothing but concentrate. Meditation helps to control your unwanted thoughts and directs all energy into your innerself and you find a new changed person in you.

What more can be done

I always say read what you love to read, watch motivational videos. Social platforms can be a tool to connect with positive minded motivational speakers. Don't waste time on social media in nononsense things which have no sense at all.  All these changes will help you to be positive, enthusiastic and you will start accepting things as they are to work on them for better. 

Save- preserve your energy to utilize it in the future for overcoming problems or moving ahead in life for better or utilize it to achieve your failed dream- make it a reality.

If you have thoughts on this topic, kindly share.